


name the stars (and know their dark returning)

by damaskrose



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Fate & Destiny, Fluff, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mentions of alcohol, Stargazing, mentions of abuse, or lack thereof
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 11:47:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18314705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/damaskrose/pseuds/damaskrose
Summary: Michael doesn’t believe in fate–has never believed in fate, will probably never believe in fate because he likes to think he has some amount of control over his life–but he can admit that there’s something pretty fucking amazing about each little second of the universe leading to him, here, with his heart so full that the entire night sky could fit in it.Or: a night out stargazing with Alex becomes something a little more serious.





	name the stars (and know their dark returning)

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. As of writing this, I just finished 1x08 (but have been spoiled to hell and back), so I've tried to keep this vaguely in line with canon even though it takes place at some undetermined point at the future.  
> 2\. Yes, the title is from Spring Awakening.  
> 3\. This is probably the most self-indulgent thing I've ever written, so enjoy!

Sometimes, Michael gets so caught up in wondering about the unknown worlds spinning around distant stars that he forgets how truly beautiful the night sky is. He stops appreciating the the way these little pinpricks of light look like diamonds carelessly tossed onto black velvet, too busy trying to divine answers from their cold light. But they’re always beautiful, the stars. Even when they torment him.

Tonight, especially. Tonight, he’s setting aside all questions of extraterrestrials and science in favor of following a news report about a meteor shower. 

Tonight is just him, Alex, and a few cold beers in the back of his truck in the middle of the desert. Roswell is so far away that it isn’t even a faint smudge of light on the horizon. Cold has settled heavily over the desert landscape and the body heat Alex is radiating against his side feels like the only warm thing in the world. It feels like they’re the only two people in the world.

He likes that.

“Do you feel it too?” Alex asks, his voice a half-whisper in the immense darkness of the desert. They’ve been lying in the dark for a while after the last of the beer was finished off, just enjoying each other’s presence and the nighttime around them. The truck bed isn’t the most comfortable thing in the world and the blankets have certainly seen better days, but he doesn’t mind. 

Michael turns and looks at the man next to him him–Alex’s hands are behind his head and he’s lying close enough that his hair tickles his cheek. “Feel what?” It’s the perfect opportunity for a trademark Michael Guerin dirty joke, but he doesn’t take it. Not in this moment. Not beneath a sky shining full of a million worlds slowly revolving in a cosmic dance. 

“How looking up there makes everything feel so small yet so endless at the same time. Like I could just reach out and touch the stars.”

“Yeah.” Michael keeps his voice soft in return, but he’s more focused on the stars he can see reflected in Alex’s eyes than the ones spread out above. “Yeah, I feel it too.”

Alex sighs and scoots a little closer in the blanket nest. “So when’s this meteor shower supposed to start?”

“Uhhh…” Michael doesn’t want to admit that the time named in the news article passed quite a while ago.

Alex turns to face him as well. “Because I’m starting to think that this whole thing may have just been a Guerin ploy to get me alone for a while.” 

“I can neither confirm nor deny.”

After a moment: “I’m kidding. This is enough, even without the meteors. You’ve got some…inventive stories about the constellations.”

Michael gasps in mock offense. “Are you implying you don’t believe my stories? Don’t be limited by your human perception of the stars, Manes. There are whole civilizations out there that you know nothing about.” 

“I hardly think those stories were from an alien culture, considering how…colorful they were.”

“Point taken.”

Alex rests his head on Michael’s shoulder and, honestly, that little point of contact feels hotter than any star. His heart aches in the best way possible. This truck bed, this sky, this man next to him–he didn’t know he could love a tiny moment like this so much. In the vast cosmos of the universe, all that has to matter right now is Alex pressed up against his side.

“Did you know that I wanted to be an astronaut when I was really young?” He traces a single finger across Alex’s shoulder. They’re so close he can feel the whisper of Alex’s breath on his cheeks.

“Really?” There’s a hint of a laugh in Alex’s voice, but it fades away at how serious Michael’s voice is.

“Yeah…It was, you know, before I started piecing together the original ship. Being an astronaut seemed like my only chance of getting off this planet…” He trails off for a little bit, remembering the hours he’d spent in a public library, age eight, practically memorizing books on space exploration. Straining to see something familiar in the glossy photos of outer space but never recognizing anything more than constellations and swirls of gas. “That was before I realized that it was hard for troubled-kid orphans to become astronauts even when they weren’t hiding their true species. So I guess I let that dream die fast.”

“For what it’s worth, I’m sure you would have made an excellent astronaut.” Alex flicks an errant curl of hair from Michael’s face.

“But then I wouldn’t be here freezing my ass off in the desert with you.”

“No, you wouldn’t.” Alex is silent for a little while, taking Michael’s face in with the same intensity he was scrutinizing the night sky above with a few minutes ago. “Isn’t it incredible? That out of everywhere you could have ended up, it was here and now? If the crash had been in a different place or if the pods had opened at a different time…we wouldn’t be here, right now.”

“Yeah…” Michael lets the word out as a sigh because he doesn’t think he can express everything that idea makes him feel. Each moment of his life and Alex’s leading to this night like dominoes toppling. And fuck, if that’s true, maybe it’s all worth it–the crash, the awakening, the secrets, the pain, the leaving and the returning. Because he can’t imagine that his life could possibly be better without Alex Manes in it. “Yeah…” he repeats, because he can’t think of anything else to say. His breath catches in his throat halfway through the word. He doesn’t need to reach up and touch his cheeks to know that they’re wet.

Michael doesn’t believe in fate–has never believed in fate, will probably never believe in fate because he likes to think he has some amount of control over his life–but he can admit that there’s something pretty fucking amazing about each little second of the universe leading to him, here, with his heart so full that the entire night sky could fit in it. “I think that is pretty incredible.” 

It’s also–if he’d being honest–kind of terrifying. Such a tenuous little connection thrust together amidst the chaos of a universe he doesn’t even really understand at all. Like they could be torn apart just as easily. It makes him want to take Alex in his arms and never let him go. 

“I feel like we should…celebrate that. Or something.” The words are out of his mouth before he’s even done thinking about them. Before he’s even sure what they mean.

But of course he knows what they mean. It isn’t just coincidences that have led them to each other. They’ve fought their way back to each other, across continents and wars, both personal and public, and conspiracy theories and years of distance and sometimes even their own dumb mistakes. They’ve reached out again and again, always hoping the other would reach back. 

Alex cocks his head. “What do you mean?”

“You know…make that kind of connection official. Or something.”

Alex shifts so he can see Michael’s face. “Guerin…did you just…?’ 

“Propose?” Michael blurts the word out before Alex can even finish. He’s honestly just as surprised. “I think so?”

“Oh my god,” says Alex. 

Fuck. Maybe that was too sudden. Maybe Alex really did just come out for a beer. Maybe this is too much. 

“I mean, only if you want…” Fuck, he hopes this hasn’t messed everything up. Can they go back to what they were before with this hanging over them?

This time it’s Alex who cuts him off. “Yes! Yes, fuck, yes. Yes, Guerin.” 

“Yes…?” It’s possible that Michael has just short-circuited his own brain.

Alex takes a deep breath. “Yes, Guerin. Yes, I’ll marry you.”

“Oh…” Michael lets out a shaky breath. “Uh…good. I guess I didn’t really plan that one through. So I’m glad–”

“Michael,” Alex says, and the use of his first name is enough to stop the rambling. “It’s a million times yes. I could never say anything except yes.”

“Oh, thank god.” Michael doesn’t realize how tense he is until he feels himself relax.

“I think we’ve talked it through enough now,” Alex says firmly, and then both of them are making sure they won’t be talking for quite a while.

An entire sky of stars could not be more incandescent. 

A while later, Michael finds himself running his fingers through Alex’s hair, Alex pressed to his chest. The meteor shower, if there ever was one, has been completely forgotten. “I feel like I should warn you that Isobel will lose her shit over the opportunity to plan any kind of party,” he says, and is rewarded by the rumble of Alex’s laugh. 

Alex tilts his face up. “And Max will possibly write a long, sappy speech referencing classical literature that will make us all cry.”

“And Liz will pull up all the embarrassing high school photos she can find.” If Michael thought his heart was full before, it’s nothing compared to this. He could fit the whole universe in there. 

“Hey! I feel no shame for my high school goth phase,” Alex insists. “I’ve worked through it.” He adjusts his head on Michael’s chest so they can both take in the stars.

“Of course not.” Michael takes the opportunity to tickle Alex’s neck until he hand is smacked away with a laugh. “Nothing to be ashamed of. You were hot as fuck and you smelled like nail polish remover all the time.”

“Oh, is that why you liked me? The ulterior motive is revealed at last.”

“You got me. It was the nail polish remover all along.”

Alex sighs. “I’m not a very good dancer now, though. That might put a damper on the party.”

“I’m pretty terrible myself. But, you know, I think we can get through anything together.”

And they lie there for a minute, taking in the dark expanse above. But of course it’s not really dark, even without the meteors. The night sky is blazing with the light of a million worlds, most of which he’ll never know. But Michael is okay with that because, right now, he’s pretty sure that the only world he needs is cradled in his arms.


End file.
